


glow (brighter in the darkness)

by shinyeons



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Girls Kissing, Pining, let's be real who isn't, yeji is very much in love with ryujin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 05:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinyeons/pseuds/shinyeons
Summary: Maybe it's when she enters the practice room for the first time, her eyes automatically landing on the pretty girl dancing passionately in front of the mirror.Or when said girl brushes a finger through her lips when they're alone inside of a bathroom, their faces so close that she can feel the other's breath against her skin.Yeji is not sure how it begins, but she falls for Ryujin, hard.





	glow (brighter in the darkness)

**Author's Note:**

> hello ♡  
> it's my first fic here and i couldn't be more excited to start writing about my itzy babies!!
> 
> i wrote this entire thing while listening to glow by stray kids on replay (i'm pretty sure i listened to it around 90/100 times?? help) and i also got the title from this song so please listen to it while reading if you would like!
> 
> i didn't proofread this fic so i'm sorry for any mistakes ;;
> 
> anyways, i really hope you guys like it ♡

 

> _We can rest but it’s still too early_  
>  _We need to rest but it’s still so far away_  
>  _The path we must go on_  
>  _Even though we can’t see the end, we must go to the end_

 

Yeji's not sure how it all —  _her feelings for Ryujin_  — started.

 

She thinks, maybe, it begins when she enters the practice room for the first time, scared and trembling like a child after watching a horror movie, with her eyes fixated on the ridiculously pretty girl dancing in front of the mirror. Ryujin, who still had long dark hair instead of her well known short, slightly colorful locks, didn't even spare her a glance at first.

 

Yeji felt uncomfortable— terrified, even, to be trapped in the same room as the mysterious beauty for endless hours, making it impossible for her to focus on the choreography she had only two days to learn.

 

So it took Yeji as a surprise when, at the end of their exhausting practice routine, the girl suddenly left the room, leaving all of her belongings behind. Yeji looked back and forth between the door and the red backpack on the floor, wondering if she should let the other trainee know she forgot her stuff or if she should mind her own business.

 

But her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of loud steps and the vision of a sweaty girl pushing the door open with her back, tiny hands too busy holding two bottles of water to do anything else.

 

"Here, have this." The trainee said as she extended the bottle towards the taller girl, sounding as polite as possible, and Yeji couldn't do anything else but to accept it and take one of the bottles in her hands.

 

Yeji was so shocked by the act that she couldn't even bring herself to take a sip of the water, even when her dry throat kept begging for any kind of liquid to go down. The other girl, who was staring right back at Yeji's dumbfounded expression, seemed to take her silence as a chance to keep talking. "I'm sorry for not talking to you earlier, I was kind of desperate to learn this choreography."

 

Yeji blinked at the confession and tried not to think about the way her heart jumped inside of her chest when the trainee scratched her neck in embarrassment, looking  _way_  too adorable for her own good, a complete twist from the fierce look she had when dancing earlier that day.

 

"My name is Ryujin," The trainee introduced herself, exstending her free hand towards Yeji who, even with a hurricane of emotions erupting inside of her body upon meeting that girl, smiled and took Ryujin's hand on hers.

 

And when they ended up spending more time than they should at the company, learning more and more about each other as seconds, minutes and hours passed by, Yeji knew they would be inseparable.

 

 

She wasn't wrong. Her and Ryujin became, indeed, a inseparable duo.

 

The fact that Ryujin attended the same school as her was one of the many factors behind their proximity. Yes, Ryujin was one year younger and because of that they weren't in the same class, but the small detail wasn't enough to distance the two girls.

 

They took the same bus, spent lunch time together and Yeji always waited for the younger outside of her class, enjoying the view of a focused Ryujin as she peaked through the window more than she liked to admit to herself.

 

And it's at school — inside of the girls bathroom, to be more exact — that it hits Yeji again, the same uneasy feeling growing inside of her chest, causing her breath to get heavier and her heartbeat to become messier.

 

Ryujin is close — so close that Yeji can feel the younger's breath on her cheeks, tickling her skin in an almost mocking way. She's holding the pink lipstick in one hand while the other one was resting under Yeji's jaw, so softly that it makes the taller student wonder how can something so delicate as Ryujin's touch feel so hot against her skin.

 

Then Ryujin's ring finger brushes gently against the top of her lips, removing the excess of lipstick left there, and Yeji wants to cry or to scream because,  _shit_ , her mind is such a mess and she wants to kiss Ryujin and share her lipstick with her  _so bad_  that it hurts.

 

It hurts because she doesn't want to push her new friend away, it hurts because anyone could come through that door and spread rumors about them, it hurts because she's  _afraid_.

 

And, of course, because Yeji has no idea if Ryujin feels the same; if Ryujin was craving for her kiss as much as she was craving for hers.

 

The thing is, Yeji doesn't know when it started. But she's sure as hell that, after the bathroom incident, there was nothing else she wanted more than to hold Ryujin close and to know what her lips tasted like.

 

And even thought she didn't want anything more than  _that_ , there was something else she wanted just as much —  _her debut_.

 

So she occupies herself with training. She dances, she sings and she writes a bunch of songs while she tries to act like every single one of them aren't about Ryujin until late at night. She eventually becomes friends with other trainees, spends her free time with them, laughs with them and, before she can notice, she has a new group of friends.

 

Yeji hopes none of the kids notice how red she gets every time Ryujin, who's also friends with all of them, comes into the room wearing black from head to toe, naturally taking a sit beside her before entwining their fingers together. Everyone knew they were close, the closest friends in the entire agency, and the way Ryujin always made sure to show how much she cherished the older girl and their friendship did no good to Yeji's already sensitive heart.

 

It only gets worse when Ryujin cuts her hair, showing up so confident and so full of herself at the practicing room, reminding Yeji of the day she first saw the younger one, but this time she wasn't petrified because of fear — it was only and entirely because Ryujin looked breathtaking, like she came outside of her childhood fantasies of what a perfect girlfriend would look like.

 

Yeji even forgets she's the older one between them for a second, feeling so small and childish under Ryujin's gaze that it was hard to breathe when the girl made her way towards her frozen body, hugging the taller's waist excitedly, completely unaware of what that simple gesture was doing to Yeji's emotions.

 

"Did you like it?" Ryujin asked, her cute whisker dimples showing as her lips curled up, both eyes glowing in expectation as she looked up at the taller girl.

 

"You look beautiful." Yeji said in an almost whisper, breath caught in her throat as she felt her heartbeat ringing through her ears.

 

Yeji's situation only got worse when Ryujin blushed and hid her face at the crook of her neck, hot breath tickling the dancer's skin but she didn't dare to move, not when Ryujin's body felt so warm pressed against her own.

 

The short hair not only made Ryujin look prettier, but made her dance harder than she did before. Her steps were precise, confident, like she wanted to burn the ground she was stepping on, and it was mind blowing. Yeji had never seen someone improve so much in such a short amount of time, and she couldn't help but to be overwhelmed with pride towards the smaller girl.

 

If anything, Ryujin's growing passion brought them even closer than before,  _if that was possible_. They spent countless nights stuck in the practice room coming up with new choreographies, sharpening moves and becoming skilled dancers.

 

The other trainees —  _and even the agency themselves_  — were blown away by their improvement, wondering how it was possible to come up with such incredible movements in such a short time.

 

Yeji knows she's only pushing herself to do her best, to spend nights awake,  _to her own limits_ , because of Ryujin. The girl...  _inspires her_. The burning passion that glows inside of Ryujin's eyes is something Yeji's sure she had never seen before — it burns, but it feels good. It makes her want to become a better person, to easily glow in the dark like Ryujin always did.

 

And that's when Yeji realizes that, as much as she tries to keep herself busy with training, with her uncertain future,  _with her dreams_ , Ryujin would always be there, at the back of her mind, glowing.

 

Because, after shining over her dark thoughts for so long, Ryujin becomes one of her dreams, too.

 

**—**

 

Yeji's not sure how, but she becomes the leader of the agency's new girl group project team. She's older now, she should be more confident in herself, but it's impossible when she's being tested in front of her dreams — and the dreams of other girls who were just as eager to make their debuts.

 

As usual, Ryujin was there, too. It was an unspoken rule that everyone seemed to have learned, for them to be always paired up together, no matter the circumstances.

 

And Yeji couldn't be more grateful for it when Ryujin holds her hands because she's nervous before rehearsals, when Ryujin tells her she's an amazing leader and when Ryujin has to hold her as she cries her heart out because she  _failed_.

 

Her team lost — and Yeji felt like it was all her fault.

 

 _She_  didn't work hard.  _She_  didn't train the other girls well.  _She_  was an awful leader.  _She_  lost  _their_  chance of finally debuting.

 

Her mind was a mess and her body felt weak from crying too much. The other girls tried to calm her down and Yeji knew they were just trying to be nice, but the only one who had the power to do that was Ryujin.

 

And before Yeji knew, she was sitting in a dark room with Ryujin, away from the cameras and everyone else. It was only her, Ryujin, her warm embrace and their broken dreams inside of the practice room they spent so many of their teenage years in.

 

Ryujin's breath was calm even when a few silent tears were still falling from her eyes, and even though Yeji was broken inside, she still sat straight and brushed her fingers through Ryujin's flushed cheeks, their proximity bringing her mind back to a very specific moment they shared back in the days.

 

Even with all the pain, Ryujin's eyes were still glowing as she stared back at the leader, making Yeji go insane because, once again, Ryujin is the only thing shining in the darkness.

 

And that's why when Ryujin's firm hands find their way to her jaw, just like the day in the school bathroom, Yeji leans into her touch, trying to let Ryujin know what she wants, what will make the growing pain inside of her go away, even if for just a second.

 

Next thing she knows, Ryujin's lips are pressed against hers, soft and careful, just like Yeji always imagined they would be. Wrapping her arms around the dancer's neck, the leader slowly brings the girl down, afraid that if she breaks the contact between them, Ryujin will run away.

 

Ryujin is above her and she's kissing her with so much care she almost forgets they are at a dim practice room, mind too clouded with the taste of cherry coming from the younger's lips, working on her body like a medicine, calming her nerves and stopping her tears from falling any further.

 

When they pull away and their eyes flutter open, Yeji expects to see regret written on Ryujin's features. But all she gets is a reassuring smile and strong arms bringing her closer, and then they're cuddling and finding comfort inside of each other's embraces and everything seems to be okay for a while.

 

Later that night, Ryujin tells Yeji everything will be okay, and it's impossible not to believe her when they're pressed against each other on the younger's bed, playing with each other's hairs and stealing kisses here and there.

 

Yeji hoped Ryujin was right.

 

**—**

 

Time passes and, eventually, things start to look bright again. Ryujin gets incredibly popular after appearing in a survival show —  _a shitty one that Yeji hated every second of it, but still a survival show_  — and Yeji herself is getting ready to be introduced to the world through one, too.

 

After such a traumatic period of her trainee life —  _missing a chance to debut, seeing most of her friends leave the agency one by one and even considering giving up on her dreams_  — Yeji felt excited again. Even if still uncertain, the taste of the word  _debut_  in her mouth was stronger than never.

 

Yet, there was still something else at the back of her head bothering her, not letting her sleep at night.

 

_Ryujin._

 

No, they haven't changed since the day in the practice room and the sleepover they had at the younger's house after that. The problem is: they never talked about the  _kiss_  again.  _Kisses_ , to be more honest.

 

And it makes Yeji overthink, when she lays down on her bed late at night craving for Ryujin's company, wishing she could sleep inside of the younger's embrace again.

 

She had no idea of what that night meant for Ryujin — the worst and the best night of her life, the night of her  _first kiss_. She wanted to confront Ryujin, to ask her why she acted like the kiss never happened, but she couldn't. Not when she was doing the exact same thing, not when she was nothing but a coward when it came to how she felt about the younger girl.

 

And when salty tears started falling down Yeji's face at two in the morning after countless hours tossing and turning around in bed thinking about the girl and how good her lips felt over hers, she knew she was  _fucked_.

 

She didn't have a crush on Ryujin. She was in love with her,  _deeply_ ,  _desperately_.

 

She needed Ryujin, and she needed her right in that moment. She couldn't wait anymore.

 

That's why she found herself darting through the dark streets of Seoul at such a ungodly hour in the morning, ignoring the fear trying to take over her thoughts. Her legs were hurting and her throat was starting to become dry from all the running, but it wasn't enough to make her lose focus. She  _needed_  to see Ryujin, and the thought alone was enough to keep her body from breaking in two.

 

And as if the universe was working in her favor, her phone vibrated as soon as she found herself in front of the younger's house, revealing a message that made Yeji's lips curl up in a smile.

 

 **ryujinie**  
_hey_  
_are you awake?_

 **yeji**  
_look outside of your window_

 **ryujinie**  
_??_

 **yeji**  
_just do it, silly_

 

And next thing Yeji knows, Ryujin is staring down at her from the window, a shocked expression painting her delicate features, making it impossible for her not to giggle silently at how cute the other girl looked when she was sleepy, almost disappearing inside of her oversized black hoodie.

 

But when the door opens and she's face to face with Ryujin again, all the air from inside of her lungs disappear like magic. She's all nervous and insecure again, hands trembling and sweating even though it was winter. Ryujin seems to notice Yeji's uneasiness this time, dragging the leader inside and guiding her upstairs into the comfort of her warm bedroom.

 

Silence washed over them as they sat by side on Ryujin's bed. They weren't facing each other, nor where their shoulders touching like they always did when they were together. Something was weird and it was making Yeji's chest burn with uncertainty, specially when her anxious mind couldn't stop wondering if she did the right coming to Ryujin's house so late and—

 

"I'm in love with you."

 

For a second, Yeji's tired brain thought that the words had slipped from her own mouth without her permission. But then she turned her head and was welcomed by Ryujin's bright eyes staring back at her with so much care, so much love that it made something inside of her chest throb, like it was ready to finally erupt.

 

"I'm in love with you," Ryujin repeated, softer this time, staring deeply into Yeji's eyes. "and I can't keep acting like i'm not because  _you deserve to know you're loved_."

 

Even in the dark, Yeji notices how Ryujin's cheeks become wet as she speaks and has to stop herself from kissing away all of her tears, knowing the girl still has more to say. "I've been loving you for so long, but I was finally sure of what I felt the day we kissed. I couldn't sleep that week, thinking about how good it felt and about how much I wanted to do it again. But I was afraid, so I never mentioned the kiss again."

 

Yeji was the one crying now as Ryujin held both of her hands carefully, their eyes never daring to let go of each other's gaze. "You didn't, too, so I just tried to ignore it. But that didn't go very well, as you can see," Ryujin laughed, wiping off some tears who were threatening to fall. "I sent you that message because I couldn't sleep— couldn't stop thinking about you, Yeji."

 

Yeji smiled through the tears, finally bringing her hands up to cup the younger's flushed face, slowly running her fingers through her cute, soft red cheeks. "We're both idiots, then," She started, bringing Ryujin's face closer to the point where their foreheads were pressed against each other's. "Because I was awake thinking about you, too."

 

That was enough for Yeji to have Ryujin's lips against hers again.

 

After months of yearning, after thinking she would never be able to feel the dancer's unique taste on her mouth again, there she was, kissing Ryujin, knowing the girl she was in love with loved her back.

 

Yeji knew nothing would ever feel as good as that moment — so she enjoyed every second of it, spending the rest of the night with Ryujin, talking about everything and nothing at the same time as the hours passed by, returning home before the sunrise with a content smile plastered on her face and glee washing all over her body.

 

**—**

 

Later, Yeji finds out that a moment as good as the one where Ryujin confessed to her could, as surreal as it might sound, exist.

 

Like when they were told they were finally going to make their debut, kissing one last time at the trainees practice room before moving to the idols training room.

 

Or when they got their first win, and after crying their eyes out and partying with the girls —  _Jisu, Chaeryeong and Yuna, their group mates and best friends_  — they kissed in the waiting room, when no one else was around, in a new way to  _say congratulations, we made it._

 

And of course, when Yeji decided to surprise Ryujin and finally asked the girl to be her girlfriend, ignoring the squeals coming from outside of their bedroom door.

 

(They could clearly hear Chaeryeong telling Yuna to keep it quiet, but it seemed like their maknae was way to hyper to care.)

 

Now, with her dreams becoming a reality one by one, Yeji felt like she was walking over the clouds.

 

And Yeji knew that if she slipped again, Ryujin would be there pick her up. The girl would shine through the darkness and would keep her in place, safe and sound, like she always did.

 

 

> _Look at the night sky, look at the stars_  
>  _It’s like us, shining brighter in the darkness_

**Author's Note:**

> sooooo, how was it?  
> i really hope you guys liked it (and please let me know if you did so i can keep writing more itzy fics !!)  
> thanks for reading and happy #Itzy3rdWin! <3
> 
> (support my fics and aus on twitter! @shinyeons)


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